When Dance is Not Enough by Arielle Dunn

When Dance is Not Enough
by Arielle Dunn

TW: This post talks about suicide.

Dance is light. Dance is love. Dance makes you feel alive, but when you are dying inside sometimes dance is not enough to save you.

She was always sleepy. Her head was always down, but when she danced with her students it was like an eternal flame burned inside of her. When she smiled it lit up the room. She was most happy when she danced. It was like she was a little girl again skipping through a meadow of sunflowers, not a care in the world. The students kept her happy; they loved her. I loved her even though I had only been at that dance studio for 6 months. We hugged her and we fed her love, but when she left the studio it was always harder to keep the smile on her face.  We tried our hardest but even sometimes all the love in the world is not enough to block out the amount of darkness in someone’s life.

Now that I think back to it I should have noticed the signs, but my mom did. She seemed distant when you would talk to her. Everyday I would wonder what seemed off, but I was never able to put my finger on it. Something seemed wrong, she was always sad and distant. Who knew what would happen, but I would’ve never imagine something to this extent happening in a million years.

She was so young only in her 20s. She had times of happiness. She was a beautiful dancer, who graduated from high school and college, and fulfilled her dream of teaching her passion and sharing her love for dance.

The last day I saw her I think back and something was off. It was like a forced happiness. She was too happy. She went out bought a whole makeup line from Target and showed us how pretty she was. She was perfectly made up and beautiful but she went home and committed herself to eternal sleep.

That day was the last day her light would shine physically.

The next day they got the call. The call that would change everything.

She is dancing with angels now……the day my dance teacher went to sleep and never woke up changed my life forever. I cried, I questioned, I mourned, I wondered why???? I realized dance could not save her.

If you feel like your light is dimming, please get help.

Editor’s note: If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts or actions, please call the free suicide prevention hotline, which is available 24/7: 1-800-273-8255. 

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