Journey Towards Tomorrow
by Hajra Salim
“Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.” -Helen Wolkowicz
Self-discovery, for me, has always been a continuous journey. A journey that completes me but at the same time allows me to lose a part of myself that I no longer wish to carry on. At this very moment in my life, I am all about embarking this pilgrimage, to gain more of myself. To explore, I have always believed one has to have some sort of opinion about what they like or dislike.
Music became a medium to discover my taste and find my thoughts, a place where I could let them free, and search for originality or creativity. I was always fond of music, therefore, to test out myself, I devoted myself to sing, and become better and more skilled as time passed. Finding myself under the influence of music, helped me feel like I had a skill (other than scoring terribly in Mathematics). Fast forward, I sang at family gatherings, around friends, and family but as time passed I found myself distancing from music, and a time came that I abandoned singing completely.
Entering in adolescence, I found myself to be very introverted and that is exactly when I found my hidden love for books and literature. I fell in love with English, although it clearly wasn’t my native language. I remember being in 3rd grade when I first developed this habit to having read all of English textbooks prior to when my classes were to start. You know, just some little signs of my intense liking for books that I even found leisure in reading my textbooks. Dear me!
I can truly say that I found myself, my purpose, every time my fingers grazed over the yellow pages of the old books that were untouched in my home. The Wizard of Oz created a world for me, a world of possibilities and imagination that I unknowingly longed for. In third grade, I wrote a short Hamd (“Praise” in English, Hamd is an Arabic word referring to the exclusive praise of God Alone — whether written or spoken.) I kept it to myself, dubious if my writing abilities were sufficient.
Years passed, I maintained my pace with writing in the form of scribbling in one those glittery ‘middle-school diaries.’ This is when I discovered I loved to draw, and doodle tornadoes. (No actually, the tornado doodling credit goes to all the boring geography classes.) Now, back to the topic, I had this offbeat desire whose origin till this day remains undefined that ‘I want to be a writer,’ and I have never yearned for something that passionately. I blossomed, I faced, I fought, and I witnessed all through my words that traveled from local magazines and blogs to universal programs.
The uncertainties that I felt after every essay, every entry in my diary, started to lessen. Getting recognition- another important part of my unpremeditated journey- was a BOOST for me to carry on. I gained a ton of confidence and faith in my destiny, growing side by side.
Switching from one ambition to the other, is not always all energetic or those ‘hustle harder’ vibes. sometimes it can be exhausting and it is alright if you or maybe a friend of your feel like you can’t find anything you are good at or you don’t have an ambition. IT IS OK. Keep searching. Continue exploring. You’ll get there and don’t give up.
I have always seen life as a journey; it’s quite eye-opening to see how barren the path gets at times and how, most of the time, it is covered in flowers often neglected.
Take your journey to self-discovery like Hajra!