Was I a Victim of Gaslighting?
by Tiffany Riley Dameron
Sexual Assault Awareness Month
This post mentions abuse and could be triggering to some. Please use caution when reading.
Sadly, yes I was. I never really thought about it and never really knew what gaslighting was.
What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is an abusive tool people use to mentally manipulate that seeks to question their victim of their reality, sanity, and why they are here. This tool can also make the victim more vulnerable and not be open to others. Most people use gaslighting to blame their victim and make them look like they’re “playing the victim.” This can also bring the person down, which is exactly what the gaslighter wants.
As I said before, I never heard of gaslighting, nor have I learned about it until a post popped on on my Instagram feed. That’s what made me question what people have done and said about me. After a few minutes of thinking, I realized that I was indeed a victim of gaslighting.
I, sadly, was a victim of this abusive thing.
Here are some of the warning signs of gaslighting:
-They deny you ever said something, even if you have proof
-They wear you down overtime
-They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you
-They know confusion weakens people
-They try align people against you
Yikes! That last warning sign is a big deal. A couple people I knew used gaslighting to make my own family turn against me. This made me feel helpless and not knowing who to turn to, which is what the abuser wants.
But, how can you deal with gaslighting? Good news is you can seek help if you are being gaslit.
Talk to a trusted adult
Always talk to someone you trust. This could be a counselor, parent/guardian. Whoever you can trust, go talk to them.
NEVER believe the lies
The important thing if you are a victim of gaslighting is to never ever believe the lies being said towards and about you. People using gaslighting want to make themselves feel better and make them feel more powerful. (Never works out in the end, so don’t use gaslighting.)
Know you are valid and worthy
No matter what people say about or towards you, you are worthy and valid. You are allowed to be human. Keep a journal of positive things like quotes photos of true friends, all these things will help you know that you are here on this earth for a reason.
Do you have any other advice for those who may have been gaslighted? Leave them in the comments!
This post was originally posted on Tiffany’s blog and reposted with her permission.